Sean recently received assessments on the status of his name from two separate communities, the Roma (gypsies) and the Albanians.
Most Albanians believe that a good name—family reputation and honor—is the most valuable asset and the greatest legacy one can pass on to children. While a person can inherit a good name, he or she can also bring shame to the family name. That explains why Albanian elders sometimes seem rather harsh in their discipline of family members who don’t conform to their standards. They are the guardians of the family name. When a child is caught stealing or engaging in something else dishonorable, I have often heard Albanians blame the father and grandfather.
After all our years here, we are finally losing our “foreigner” status. While we no longer get to enjoy privileged guest status in people’s homes, they have allowed us into their hearts in a deeper and more open way. Now our closest Albanian friends treat us as family. They no longer refuse our offers to help with menial tasks. In fact, they have begun to expect it as they would from a brother or sister. They are far less inclined to hide their weaknesses or withhold their criticisms. Our relationships are becoming more transparent and authentic. Now we have the privilege of being in positions of real influence. We consider this a sacred trust, and we pray that we will use it only for their good and never take advantage.
Sean often helps an Albanian friend set up his small shop in the bazaar. Just outside the covered bazaar, the used clothing dealers, most of them Roma, set up their booths. As Sean and his friend sat down in the bazaar one recent morning, several Roma men nearby noticed him.
The Roma in our area know Sean as Jaddi. When our daughters operated their Roma girls’ literacy center, the Roma girls overheard them calling Sean “Daddy,” and they thought they were calling him by his real name, which they mistook as Jaddi.
The Roma believe that names have power. Each Roma has three names. The first is a secret name that only their mother knows, because she doesn’t want the spirits to have the knowledge and use its power to harm her child. Then they have their Roma name that only their own people know, so that non-Roma people won’t have power over them. Third, they have an Albanian name for general use.
When the Roma girls overheard our daughters calling Sean “Daddy,” they thought Jaddi was Sean’s secret name. Before long, nearly every Roma he encountered would smile and wave to him, calling out, “Jaddi, Jaddi!” Thankfully, they consider our family friends of their people. This began with Megan and Moriah’s work with their girls and was cemented by the small things our family has done to help their people over the years—everything from health work to helping them get broken motorcycles home. Once, Sean helped some Roma men get an exhausted horse out of an open sewer that runs down our road. As Sean placed a tow strap around the horse’s body, the frightened animal bit him and knocked him into the sewer sludge. Sean wasn’t badly hurt, but he was very dirty. The Roma never forgot his act of kindness.
The Roma are generally a feared and misunderstood minority. They endure constant, harsh discrimination. They were wary of our help at first, but through the years they have learned to trust us. They came to consider our family “friends of the gypsies,” and they do not steal from us or allow others to steal from us. They treat us with respect.
As Sean sat down with his friend near the Roma men in the bazaar, a Roma elder called out to him loudly and warmly, “Good morning, Flori!” Flori is short for an Albanian name, Florian, which means gold. Sean returned the greeting but assumed the man had confused him with someone else. The old gypsy smiled a nearly toothless grin and continued, “I have called you gold because that is what you are. Your daughters are gold because they helped our wives and daughters. They taught them how to read and write and know numbers. They and your wife helped our sick children. You have helped our people many times. Because your family is gold, you are all the more gold! So now, your name is Flori!”
Sean was shocked. We had thought expressions of gratitude weren’t part of Roma culture, but apparently they just express it differently. It had taken us seven years to understand the depth of their gratitude.
Sean thanked the old man and said that only God is truly good, but when people know Him, some of His gold reflects from them. The Roma elder and his companions nodded thoughtfully at that.
About a week later, some Albanian friends invited Sean to have a meal with them in their home. They knew I was in the States at the time, and they wanted Sean to know he still had “family” there. His hosts began to talk about how many friends Sean has and how nearly everyone in our city knows about him. “They talk about you all over the city,” they said. This wasn’t surprising. Gossip is a major pastime of both men and women here. Also, it’s rare to have a foreigner choose to live in Albania. Even the Turkish and Saudi Muslim missionaries rarely stay for long. An American living in this city would naturally be the talk of the town.
For years, many people were convinced that we worked for the CIA. A few die-hard communists still hold to that suspicion, but most have moved on to other theories. Everything we do is quickly broadcast throughout the city. Admittedly, it’s a bit eerie to meet Albanian strangers all over this city of about 65,000 who know more about us than the people in our own neighborhood in the States. Finally, people have stopped guessing how soon we will leave and instead see us as part of their community. Most have finally accepted that we genuinely care about them.
Next, Sean’s Albanian hosts, who are fellow church members, began to talk about his name in our city, how it is very respected among all classes. “We all have good names because we’ve accepted God as our Father,” Sean replied. “We have accepted the inheritance of the best name in the universe. Naturally we want to lift up our Father’s name. When we obey Him, we glorify His name. We don’t obey Him in order to get Him to adopt us. We are already His children! We obey Him because He is our Heavenly Father. Just as we would never want to bring shame upon our earthly father’s name, we don’t want to drag down our Heavenly Father’s name. How can any child of God who knows the Father not be grateful for His love, forgiveness, mercy and justice?”
“A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor rather than silver and gold” (Prov. 22:1).
We look forward to lifting up our Father’s name together with our brothers and sisters in the States soon. Check out our speaking appointments and see if you can join us at one of them. We hope to see you there!
