I stood chatting with several market vendors, practicing Thai, when one of them asked me the question I have come to expect when out by myself: “Are you married?” When I said I was, he asked the next most common question: “Is she Thai?” This question is understandable since many Caucasian men move to Thailand to marry Thai women. I told them my wife is American. “You’ll change wives in the future,” he grinned, implying that I would eventually want to marry a Thai woman.
Sadly, the perception most Thai people have of Western men is not positive. To be fair, many Westerners have cultivated this reputation with their barroom behavior and patronage of sex traffickers. Nonetheless, Thai people still respect Westerners and accord them a high degree of status. Because many Thai people struggle to subsist day to day, they associate the West with wealth and power. Over the past several months I have realized to a greater degree how these perceptions influence my interactions and relationships.
When I go walking through my village, I often feel self-conscious since I am one of only a few Westerners living there. As people stare at me, I can almost hear them thinking, “What is he doing here?” When I stop and talk with people, they often ask me questions like, “How much rent do you pay?” or “How much did your vehicle cost?” To them, I am just a rich farang (foreigner). Sometimes they encourage their children to practice speaking English with me in hopes of getting some benefit. Thai people seem happy to befriend me and often seek my attention, but sometimes I wonder if it is because they hope to gain materially from our relationship.
Last January, we went on an outing with an older Thai couple we met at the market. They took us to several notable places including a famous umbrella factory Princess Diana visited in the late 1980s. As they introduced us to their friends, we sensed their pride at being associated with a farang couple, and we could tell their friends were impressed. In some ways we feel flattered to be perceived as having wealth and power, but we don’t enjoy feeling like outsiders. Though people receive us gladly, we get the sense that we are far from being fully accepted into their inner circles. Is this perception wrong?
Several months ago, a fellow missionary had a very in-depth conversation with a Thai church leader about Western missionaries in Thailand. The leader shared very frankly that many missionaries in the past have done more reproving of practices in the Thai church they perceived to be unbiblical than genuinely seeking to understand Thai culture. As a result, many Thai church members have developed a negative view of missionaries. Also, since many missionaries come to Thailand for only a short time, the Thai sometimes refer to them jokingly as “vacationaries.” Many people probably look at us and wonder if we really want to serve and understand them, or if we are just here to have fun and then leave before really making a difference.
In cross-cultural ministry, it is vital that we recognize how perceptions impact the way we relate to others and how others relate to us. A Thai person may dismiss an honest-hearted, loving missionary as just another rich farang looking for a good time. On the other hand, because Thailand is “the land of smiles,” and Thai people are generally friendly and peaceful, Westerners like us could easily miss their telltale signs of yearning for something to satisfy the deepest longings of their hearts.
For missionary work to succeed, perceptions must change. How does this happen? When we consider the experience of Jesus, we see that many people misunderstood the nature of His character, His kingdom, and the work He came to do. Even His own disciples misjudged Him. Would Jesus’ ministry have been successful if He had conformed to people’s perceptions of Him? Absolutely not. Therefore He went about seeking to clear up the confusion in order to reveal His character. Doing this meant that He needed to defy convention, challenge cherished traditions, and even do things that were considered taboo. He was often mocked, looked upon with contempt, and vehemently opposed, yet in the end He succeeded.
So, what can I learn from Jesus’ example? It is a given that Thai people are going to perceive me initially as they perceive Westerners in general. I need to anticipate this. When I act in ways that defy convention, I may be misunderstood or even looked down upon, but I cannot let this affect the work I do. It is my hope and prayer that our example and influence here will be such that when Thais look at other Western missionaries, their perception will not be primarily of wealth, power or hedonism, but of Christ. Please pray with us toward that end.
