How could I have made such a careless mistake? This thought kept repeating over and over as I buried my head in my hands. My hard-earned money was gone, and I felt utterly miserable.
The whole process of sending my passport to the Philippine Embassy to get an entrance visa has tested my patience and helped me grow in many ways. Before travel restrictions related to COVID-19, you could get a visa on arrival. Now, as I plan to be a student missionary, the process takes about three months.
As my to-do list increased, I quickly and efficiently completed the tasks. I am usually quite detail-oriented, but I missed a number and sent money to the wrong email address in my haste. It was too late to correct my mistake when I realized what I had done, and I felt utterly disheartened. I was upset with myself for making such a simple mistake and not double-checking my work. I wondered whether the person I had mistakenly transferred money to would ever return it.
As time passed, I became resentful of the stranger who seemed to have chosen to keep my money. After opening the transfer summary, I found more contact details and proceeded to draft an email attempting to retrieve what was mine. Honesty and integrity were values instilled in me from childhood, and I thought returning the money was a simple obligation anyone should choose to do. After forming two or three different versions that emphasized my thoughts, I was finally ready to send my drafted email.
As my mouse hovered over the send function, a little voice in my mind asked me if what I was about to do represented Christ. Until now, my selfish perspective had centered on doing everything I could to get what was rightfully mine. With more thought, I admitted to myself that I alone was responsible for this mistake. And although I had the right to request my money be returned, God’s kingdom does not use force to make things happen. God has given us the power of choice and entrusts us not to abuse that power over other people. If this person decided not to return my money, I could still choose to forgive as Christ forgave me.
My heart softened as I chose to cancel sending my initial email and instead settled on a simple explanation of what had happened—relying on this person’s conscience and honesty. Then I left the outcome with God, choosing to forgive regardless. In doing so, I caught a glimpse of God’s love for us. He sent His Son to die in our place so we could be forgiven. It is up to us whether we choose to accept His forgiveness and salvation or not.
Though the money was never returned, I gained valuable life lessons, and I am grateful for this experience. Even when it was not easy, I found the greatest joy and peace in choosing to forgive.
