“DEATH leaves a heartache that no one can heal.”
As I read those words on the board and viewed the many pictures of the man who had passed away, I could not help but think back over the many precious people who have died and have left a deep hole in my heart.
While reflecting on those words, my eyes caught the sign on the other side of the board. “LOVE leaves a memory that no one can steal.” How true it is that memories enrich our lives and add meaning to the present and the future.
I have discovered that those statements hold true anywhere in the world. The ability to grieve and lament healthily is determined by the health of the emotional connection with the person who is now deceased.
Mission life has stretched me in many ways, but the issue of grief has been a particularly challenging one for me. After many years in pastoral ministry and supporting numerous families in their grief, holding a weekly support group called “GriefShare,” and dealing with my own family losses, I thought I was well able to handle grief and loss like a pro. After all, death is part of life, right?
It turns out that grief in cross-cultural ministry takes on a completely new understanding. Every culture has its own belief system and rituals surrounding death. Here in our people group, cremation at the Buddhist temple is the norm. Several times now we have attended funerals and come to realize the emptiness of the rituals—like widespread consumption of alcohol and drugs—that bring little or no comfort, or the long periods of chanting and respectful gestures that leave an emptiness devoid of emotion, and the belief in reincarnation that brings a profound sense of the futility of life.
We have seldom witnessed tears; only profound sadness and emptiness. Each time I return home from a traditional funeral ceremony, I express gratitude to my God, who gives us such hope and assurance of the eternal life He offers, and my deep longing to share the blessed hope we as Christians treasure is renewed.
