“Facing the pain of loss takes courage. We are tempted to avoid it. Sometimes we get busy doing God’s work as a way to avoid feeling the pain. But if we do not grieve a loss, the grief will stay in us and may cause problems for many years.”
— Healing the Wounds of Trauma: How the Church Can Help by Ergenbright, Conard, Crickmore, Monroe, Varenkamp and Wolcott
For the past few months, I have been assisting Teacher Ming as she facilitates some of our trauma healing groups that are solely in the Thai language. One of my responsibilities is participating in various role-play scenarios with Teacher Ming, illustrating key principles for trauma healing.
One of the earlier scenarios we act out together in the multi-week program involves me playing a distracted pastor at the hospital who is visiting a grieving mother and wife, played by Teacher Ming, whose husband and child were nearly killed in a terrible car accident. During the skit, I completely ignore her feelings of anger and fear. She shares how guilty she feels for wanting to kill the driver who almost killed her family. I tell her to simply bypass all the hard stuff and rejoice, to not be afraid anymore because Christians shouldn’t be afraid or angry. Then, I rush off to a church board meeting, telling her I would ask the church family to pray for her even though she said she did not want me to share her story with everyone there.
In an accompanying role-play activity, we repeat the same scenario. However, I act very differently the second time around. I take time to find a quiet place in the hospital to talk and genuinely listen, without judgment, to how the wife and mother is feeling. I affirm that it is entirely normal to feel angry and scared. I ask her if it is okay for me to invite her church family to pray for her, and she consents. I promise to visit soon and to be available to listen if she wants to talk more.
These role-play scenarios have generated deeply meaningful learning conversations with our trauma-healing group participants.
I feel privileged to have the opportunity to speak to the heart in another language. I am also happy that I have learned new Thai vocabulary for speaking about emotional awareness and relational maturity in the context of trauma healing.
Thank you for supporting the work of planting emotionally healthy spiritual family groups among the nearly 20 million Isan Thai people of northeast Thailand. We would not be able to learn the language and speak life to those who are wounded and in pain without your faithful support and prayers.
