During Easter break 2021, we held a girls’ retreat on our property. About 20 girls from different villages and with various backgrounds attended the event. Some of them I knew quite well, others I did not know at all.
The first night, as an icebreaker activity, I asked the girls to pick someone from the Bible, other than Jesus, with whom they would like to spend a day. From whom would they want to learn and ask questions? Their choices included men like David, Joseph and Job. The girls admired their faith. One girl, Felicité, wanted to meet Jonah. Interesting, I thought. Did she want to know how it felt to be swallowed by a fish? No, she wanted to ask him why he had refused to do God’s work! Over the next couple of days, I observed Felicité. She was quiet, thoughtful, and not as giggly as her peers. I could tell that walking with Christ was serious business to her. Felicité comes from the village of Kouaba, where most of our church members are persecuted by their families. At the end of the retreat, when I asked what the girls wanted to learn if we were to organize another, Felicité said she wanted to learn how to evangelize her people.
After the retreat, I kept following up on how Felicité was doing. Jean, our evangelist who lives and works in Kouaba, reported that Felicité did not want to return to school but rather to learn a trade. However, her parents could not afford the training. As a team, we decided that, if the parents allowed, we would sign her up for a training center in Boukombé where several church members run seamstress shops and teach the trade to interns. The opportunity would allow Felicité to live her faith more freely than in Kouaba and to grow spiritually. A former student missionary was willing to pay for Felicité’s training, and we were all happy when Felicité’s parents accepted. She moved in with Daniel and his wife. Daniel is a church elder and one of our evangelists in Boukombé. His wife has a seamstress shop where Felicité started working.
In the spring of 2022, Daniel reported that Felicité was giving them trouble. She had started dating a guy in the neighborhood and was staying out late at night. When she finally did not come home one night, Daniel said he could not keep her with his family any longer. Having a teenage daughter, he was afraid Felicité might be a bad influence. Felicité had also spread a rumor that the church had not brought her to Boukombé to learn a trade but to marry.
Daniel and Jean had long talks with Felicité, they even visited the young man and his family, but nothing changed. She had made up her mind; she wanted to move in with this young man and his family and get married. But Felicité is only 16, and Benin is fighting against arranged and premature marriages that make girls drop out of school or apprenticeships.
Daniel had taken responsibility for Felicité when he moved her from her parents to Boukombé, pledging to support her apprenticeship. Now he had to return her to her family and renounce this responsibility lest local authorities bring a charge against him. We were all sad about this turn of events, but there seemed little we could do about the situation. Daniel and Jean took Felicité to her family and explained the circumstances. Whatever Felicité’s next decision, we needed to ensure the church would not be held accountable.
Soon, Felicité left Kouaba, returning to her boyfriend’s house. She no longer attended church.
Several months later, our team read the book A Love Worth Giving by Max Lucado. It is a study of 1 Corinthians 13. As we read each chapter, we became more aware of how much we lacked this kind of love that Paul describes. During one of our meetings, Hyacinthe, our lead evangelist, shared that the Boukombé church had received a letter from Felicité listing all the church members who had not given up on her and who continued visiting despite what she had done. Felicité expressed her thankfulness for the love she received through these visits and her desire to return to God. It was evident that she felt shame and did not quite know how the church would react. Another person who felt shame was Hyacinthe, who admitted his name was not on that list.
We do not yet know how Felicité is doing in her new role as a young wife living in her in-laws’ house. But the Boukombé church members will continue visiting, praying with, and supporting her, whatever her situation. Please pray for Felicité. Please also pray that our team will grow in love, grace and patience.
“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful . . .”
(1 Corinthians 13:7 NLT).
