Have you ever felt like a stranger in a place where you previously belonged?
Our return to Brazil last September was full of expectations to see our family and friends, eat the food we love, hear our mother tongue and understand everything people are saying without effort.
All of these things have happened, and now we are trying to spend our remaining time in Brazil seeing the people closest to us and storing these moments in our minds to remember at will in the ensuing years.
But there is a thought that has been bothering me since we arrived from the States:
“We are going to Brazil, and then after, we are finally going back home.”
Honestly, I am very happy to be back in Brazil, especially because of the people and landscapes so familiar to us. But the fact is, for the last 10 months, Thailand has been our home and will be for some years. We developed a family with people who welcomed us with open arms and helped us during difficult and vulnerable moments.
But at the same time, I feel I am being unfair to my people and country. If there is something I try to fight very hard against, it is being ungrateful.
Two expressions in Spanish represent very well how I have been feeling these last couple of weeks: feeling desubicada (out of place) and fighting with sentimientos encontrados (conflicting feelings).
This morning, I was asking God to give me peace of mind to enjoy to the fullest the remaining days we have here with family. To my surprise, I stumbled upon this Bible text:
“But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them” (Hebrews 11:16).
I wish to constantly have this struggle, whether here in Brazil, in Thailand, or wherever I go. I greatly look forward to our return homecoming as soon as possible. This time not to Thailand, but to our promised land where we will be able to worship our so-loved King.
