After 10 years of marriage, we decided it was time to expand our family. Thank God, Sol has had a wonderful and stable eight months of pregnancy, and very soon, Julián will join our family in person.
When our dear local friends found out, they could not help but offer their advice, which we gladly accepted, since we have no experience as parents.
“Eat acidic fruits.”
“Don’t eat pineapple.”
“If you want to transfer your nausea to your husband, take a bath and then, with the towel you use to dry yourself, pass it over your husband’s back. That way, he will feel the symptoms and not you.” (We had certainly never heard that old wives’ tale before.)
“Do not even think about riding a motorcycle.”
“Do not eat vegetables from certain countries.” (That is more for rivalry between neighboring countries.)
“Do not stand for too long, but do not sit for too long either.”
“Eat twice as much because now the baby eats, too.”
“Do not carry even a bag of vegetables, not even a small one.” (Uh . . . okay.)
Lately, we have noticed on social media that some people have expressed offense when they receive advice. They feel others are interfering in their pregnancy and process. While we understand the point, honestly, we do not see it that way. While we decide what advice to take and what not to take, all these tips are really a way of saying, “We care about you.” That fills us with joy.
If Sol goes to the market alone, I might get in trouble with the market women because they will say I am making her walk (literally 50 meters, 164 feet) without company. If they see Sol get on a motorcycle with a friend to go buy bread, driving on a flat, safe street, Sol gets scolded because “pregnant women are not allowed to ride motorcycles.” They actually make her get off the motorcycle. A vendor absolutely refused to sell Sol pineapple: “Pineapple is not for pregnant women.” Now, when Sol goes to the market to buy pineapple, she has to explain that the pineapple is for me, not for her.
The people make us laugh a lot, and because we understand the culture and realize their intentions are good, they make us feel loved.
The truth is, figuring out how to care for and raise our son in the mission field will be a challenge. We have thought: If we want him to grow up strong, we should take him to MaDavid (a church member), who can look after him and take him to work on the farm for a while; there he will learn to work the land. If we ever want to take some time for ourselves as a couple, he could stay with Om Withi (an elder lady in Puchrey village); she would undoubtedly take good care of him. We could take him to befriend the children in Srae Thom; there are many babies there, so he can become socially intelligent and learn the Pnong language. Anyway, most of these ideas may just be wishful thinking; nothing is definite.
But we also want to be honest: I would love for Sol’s parents to have more time to spend with him, to see him as often as they like, and for him to grow up learning from them. I would love to raise him in my hometown, so he can experience the mountains, the rivers, and the snow in winter, develop a little of the passion for soccer that is so natural in Argentina, and much more. We are sharing this to highlight the sacrifice many missionaries make in the mission field when they have children far from home.
We assume that Julian will have a little bit of Argentinian (father), Ecuadorian (mother), and Cambodian (mission field) in him. He will be born with privileges his parents never had, but also with disadvantages we did not experience.
Everything mentioned above is ultimately just speculation, but one thing is certain: God loves him, protects him, and is with him every moment, even right now. Ultimately, as parents, we want him to be saved and for God to use him in the future to share that salvation with others. There is a phrase that helps us a lot right now: “There is no safer place than where God wants you to be,” no matter how uncertain it may seem. We trust that we are where God wants us to be, and that Julian is there, too.
Please pray for us. The time for Julian’s birth is approaching, and a new little missionary is coming into the world.
