Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised” (Prov. 31:30).
A while ago, my friend Jeanne, director of women’s ministries in our local church, asked me a if we would be willing to host another three-day women’s retreat on our property. I was delighted. I had really enjoyed last year’s retreat. It was a great opportunity for these overworked ladies to get away from their daily duties for a few days, get spiritually refilled and have some time to relax and have fun. I immediately agreed, and Jeanne started planning the event. She and Maggi Harral, the assistant director, decided on Proverbs 31 as the main topic and titled the retreat “The virtuous woman—more precious than rubies.”
Costs had to be kept to a minimum to make sure all the ladies could afford to attend. This meant the women would cook for themselves, and each would contribute 1000 F (a little less than two dollars) for food, if they were able to. They would also bring any food items they had to share. Some of the ladies said they would contribute special food so we would have some treats and meals that the others didn’t get to eat very often.
The women arrived at nightfall on Monday, most of them coming by foot and carrying their belongings on their heads. Three of them had babies on their backs. They settled into their sleeping quarters, ate the supper they had brought and soon went to bed.
The next morning they rose early (as is their habit) to fetch water, cook and do some laundry before the teaching began at 10 a.m. Maggi Harral joined us, and so did Carolyn Guenin, who is serving with her husband as a short-term missionary at the Dendi Project in Kandi this year. They were visiting our project that week and were excited to be part of everything that was going on.
I was the teacher of the first session, so after some words of welcome, I gave a general overview of the topic, and we read Proverbs 31 in French and Ditammari. Then I went into my subtopic for the morning—a wise woman plans ahead and gives good advice. Generally, planning ahead is not something that is part of the West African mentality, but with some examples the ladies quickly saw the advantages of it. We discussed the types of planning they could do to make their lives easier, such as fixing roofs before the rainy season starts, putting away money each month before school fees are due, and buying groceries ahead of time if the next market day falls on a Sabbath.
For the second part of the morning, we divided into two groups to do a case study. Each group was assigned to give biblical counsel to a friend who asked for advice on a typical family/marital problem. Very good discussions followed, and it was interesting to see the ladies come up with new ideas after some thinking and discussing.
After a delicious lunch, it was Carolyn’s turn to talk about how to have devotions and grow spiritually. She gave practical tips on how even illiterate people can grow by holding onto a thought or a verse from each sermon and thinking and meditating on it throughout the week. She had us do a simple exercise in which we memorized Proverbs 31:30 in French or Ditammari. This was powerful, because the illiterate women in our group had always thought they couldn’t memorize Bible verses, and now they realized it was quite easy! Throughout the retreat, they kept repeating the verse: “La grâce est trompeuse, et la beauté est vaine; la femme qui craint l’Éternel est celle qui sera louée.”
When teaching time was over, it was time for some physical exercise. Some of the ladies love to play soccer and rarely get a chance, so they jumped at the opportunity. Those watching and holding the babies had as much fun as those playing! The evening provided plenty of time for socializing over the cooking fire and supper. We also watched part of the Jesus film in Ditammari before it was time to go to bed.
The next morning, Jason Harral divided us into groups and had us study several Bible verses that showed some of the many wonderful ways God has used women for His kingdom. He also did a simple Gospel presentation. After a good lunch and a treat for dessert, one of the ladies sighed and said, “I’m going to stay here for a whole week!”
In the afternoon the Pastor’s wife, Paix Agbossassa, talked about child rearing. She read the chapter “The Mother and her Child” from Counsels for the Church and went into some very practical details. This gave the ladies the opportunity to ask good questions and have a productive discussion. Then it was soccer time again, and they played until they were all sore.
That night we all sat in the courtyard and talked for a long time. The ladies gave feedback on the retreat, and we exchanged ideas on how to move forward with women’s ministries and what the next retreat should look like. The first thing they decided was to extend the next retreat to a whole week, and they would invite ladies from the surrounding churches. They wanted to extend the blessing to others. Long after I had gone to bed, I could still hear their laughter in the yard.
The next morning for our last session, Pastor Agbossassa went over the whole chapter of Proverbs 31 again. Then he invited us to assess where we see ourselves. Which of the described characteristics do we have already, and which ones do we need to pray for?
There were many more things we discussed and learned throughout those three days, and we were all richly blessed. After another good lunch, the ladies packed up their belongings and cleaned the area, then they were ready to return home to their daily challenges. Thankfully, this time they didn’t have to walk since Maggi was there with the car to take them home.
We praise God for the opportunity to be part of this event for the women in our church, and we pray for many more occasions like this. “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”
