Understanding Your Buddhist Friends

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The story of Buddhism starts with Siddhartha Gautama, a man born around 500 B.C. in modern-day Nepal. He is popularly referred to as “the Buddha,” meaning “the Awakened One.” This is a title rather than a name, since Buddhist doctrine holds that every living being is a potential Buddha (hence even before Siddhartha, there were Buddhas).

Traditional biographies say that Siddhartha was raised a prince, sheltered from the outside world. At 29 years of age, he encountered the realities of sickness, suffering and death and resolved to become an ascetic. After nearly starving himself to death, he learned that rigid asceticism was not the best way. Instead, he found the Middle Way, a balance between the extremes of self-indulgence and self-mortification. It is said that he reached Enlightenment after 49 days of meditation under a bodhi tree in East India. He then began teaching his way to others.

The dominant religion of the day was Brahmanism, to which Buddhism brought several innovations:
1) rejecting the idea of a creator god, 2) rejecting the caste system and dependence on priest mediators, and 3) rejecting the notion of a permanent, real self.

In its 2,500-year history, Buddhism has spread widely and is now the world’s fourth largest religion after Christianity, Islam and Hinduism, claiming approximately 350 million diverse adherents worldwide. From India, Buddhism was carried into Sri Lanka, which, in the third century B.C., sent missionaries to most of Southeast Asia. They preached Theravada Buddhism, now the dominant religion in Sri Lanka, Cambodia, Laos, Thailand and Myanmar. This type of Buddhism is conservative, preserving the traditions of early Buddhism and focusing on monastic life and solitary spirituality.

Buddhism moved north to China in the second century, carried on trade routes by monks and merchants. From China it was adapted and spread to Korea, Japan and Vietnam, which together represent an East-Asian branch of Buddhism called Mahayana. In contrast to Theravada Buddhism, Mahayana doctrine stresses the importance of bodhisattvas—deities and future Buddhas who help others on their way to Buddhahood.

In the eighth century, Buddhism was carried across the Himalayas into Tibet where it mingled with the indigenous Bön religion to produce a unique branch of Buddhism also practiced in Bhutan, Mongolia and parts of Russia. Tibetan Buddhism and its popular leader, the Dalai Lama, are widely known and represent Buddhism to many in the West.

In its formal doctrine, Buddhism centers on the quest to eliminate suffering by reaching for Enlightenment or Nirvana through a well defined path. Nirvana is not a place but rather a type of consciousness. The Buddha realized that every type of human suffering is undergirded by desires. We experience anger or grief when we don’t get what we want. We feel jealous when we want to be the best. Suffering, then, can be overcome if we rid ourselves of all desire. This ambitious goal can allegedly be achieved over a great number of reincarnated lifetimes through a variety of meditative, moral and intellectual practices. These exercises focus on learning to see through the impermanent nature of things (such as meditating on skulls to realize that death is inescapable). In the ultimate Nirvana consciousness, all desire is extinguished (Nirvana, a Pali word, means “blown out”). After this point, when the physical body dies, the individual is not reincarnated anymore, as they have broken free from the cycle.

In practice, however, few people who claim Buddhism pay much attention to their journey to Nirvana or the time-consuming and demanding practices required to attain it. Most lay Buddhists around the world have a more pragmatic approach to religion. Their logic is often animistic—assuming a spiritual connection between specified actions and outcomes. So they appropriate Buddhist practices, such as offering alms to monks, in hopes of buying a winning lottery ticket or getting some other kind of tangible blessing. The animistic concept of luck is deeply ingrained, so Thai people, for example, often start their weddings at exactly 9:09 a.m., since 9 is considered a lucky number. This has nothing to do with actual Buddhist doctrine.

When Westerners travel east to learn more about Buddhism, they are often surprised and disappointed to discover the disconnect between typical Buddhist life and formal Buddhism. Many call this “folk Buddhism,” but I suggest that this is not the most helpful way to look at it. People groups must be understood from within their own history, not from assumptions based on the name of their claimed religion. In Thailand, for example, a mix of animist, Brahman, Chinese, Theravada Buddhist and secular practices have mingled for centuries, producing a uniquely Thai religion.

The fact that most Buddhists are animistic in their beliefs and practices does not mean that Buddhism is not important to them. Thais, for example, consider Buddhism part of being Thai, along with loyalty to nation, king and family. Also, Thais have really latched on to certain Buddhist values, such as the emphasis on releasing negative thoughts and the importance of remaining calm and collected in all circumstances. One key Buddhist doctrine—karma—is embraced by Thai people in all levels of society, even those with an otherwise Western, scientific worldview. Simply put, karma means that your deeds, good or bad, will be rewarded in kind.

Since what we lump together as Buddhism is so vastly diverse, it is hard to formulate a generic Christian response to it. Your Caucasian post-modern neighbor may call himself a Buddhist because he meditates and studies Eastern philosophy. My modernized Isaan neighbor calls herself a Buddhist because it is her family heritage and because she faithfully takes care of the souls of her deceased parents by feeding monks. Someone else’s Laotian pre-modern neighbor may call himself a Buddhist because he believes worshipping the Buddha will protect his rice fields.

There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all “key” to reaching Buddhists, but here are a few suggestions that generally apply. First, unless you are dealing with an intellectualist Westerner, do not engage in explicit religious comparisons. A dominant value in Southeast Asia is to respect other religions and their founders. To be non-confrontational and save the other person’s face are deeply rooted values. Don’t say anything that might even slightly put Buddhism in a negative light, and avoid saying much at all about the Buddha. Instead, focus on explaining your own views.

Second, as you interact with your Buddhist friends, be aware of topics they will probably understand far differently from you. You will need to revisit such topics many times to shift their thinking. For example, many Buddhists believe the law of karma trumps the status of any particular god or spirit. They believe Heaven is populated by gods and angels who got there because of their good deeds, but their reward isn’t eternal. If they accumulate sufficient bad deeds, they could be drawn back into the reincarnation cycle and be reborn as a worm or even in hell. Most Buddhists have little problem accepting that Jesus was a great teacher with high morals and merit, or even that He is a powerful angel or even God in heaven, and that He can help us in daily life. But ultimately they view Him as one of many gods, all subject to the law of karma. Also, the deeply rooted notion of karma makes key Christian concepts like forgiveness, cleansing of sins and restoration very hard for Buddhists to grasp.

Third, many animistic Buddhists are open to spiritual realities. In Thailand, people generally love being prayed for. Why refuse the chance to receive a blessing? So don’t be afraid to offer to pray for your Buddhist friends and invite God to speak to them directly.

Finally, reciprocity is a major value in many Asian contexts. People feel a keen sense of indebtedness to those who have given good things to them—their parents, their teachers, their king and queen. Present God to them as the Great Benefactor from Whom we all receive the greatest gifts—life and the promise of a new, more abundant life now and forever. Also, become a benefactor to your Buddhist friends. Give of yourself in practical ways (cook a meal, give a ride, help financially), and allow them to reciprocate however they can. Within this exchange process, trust and friendship grow, creating space to share Bible truth.
May God give you love and wisdom as you reach out to your Buddhist friends.