Are You Holding Back?

Albania? I stared at my parents in disbelief. They had just told me they were thinking about being missionaries in Albania, and I was shocked. But what about all my plans? What about my violin lessons and my dreams for the future? What about missions summer camp? I was not going to Albania. No way! I struggled with it for weeks.

My dad decided to call John Baxter, the personnel director for AFM and a friend of ours. When John answered the phone, he was surprised. “I was just getting ready to call you,” he said. “I don’t believe it’s a coincidence.”

My dad told him we were interested in being missionaries with AFM. John asked him where we wanted to go. “Well, we were looking at the Tosk project in Albania,” my dad said.

“Really! Well, a missionary from the Tosk project just happens to be sitting in my office!”

Of course, my dad talked to the missionary for about 30 minutes.
God was making it really clear that He wanted us in Albania, but I tried to hold shut the doors He was opening.

My parents decided to go to the AFM rally in Collegedale, about two hours away from our home. The whole way there, one thought kept going through my head: “I’m not going to Albania, and nobody can change my mind.”

When we got to the rally, I met the missionaries on furlough from Albania. They were very nice, but I still wasn’t going to Albania.
After some morning meetings, we went to the missionary picnic. I hung around the Albanian booth most of the time. I sampled the Albanian food about six times and discovered I really like an Albanian dish called byrek, but I still wasn’t going to Albania.

I looked at the pictures and saw some Albanian knitted wool socks. I raise sheep, spin wool, and am learning to knit, so it was very interesting to me, but I still wasn’t going to Albania.

Later, we went back to the church for more meetings. Rob Wilcox, a missionary from Albania, spoke. I listened carefully. He closed with some words from an Albanian man that really touched me: “If we are to have any hope here in Albania, we need a whole army of people like you to come show us.”

That’s when it hit me. “God, do You want me to be part of that army?”

I got down on my knees, and I surrendered. “Yes God, I’ll go to Albania.” I didn’t say it grudgingly; I said it because I wanted to go. When I got up from my knees, I was happy—truly happy! I had not been happy in two weeks, and now I was happier than I had ever been in my whole life. What an awesome God!

Are you holding back from what God is calling you to do? Surrender to Him. You will be glad you did!

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