If I stare at my valuables long enough, I begin to cry, thinking about the life we built and the home we made. I look at the pictures of our beautiful family, the stains on the carpet, the paintings of little handprints that are no longer that small. I have never had to process so many emotions all at once. There is an excitement for what is to come and yet an overwhelming sadness from what was and will never be again.

I feel like I have written this article ten times, yet it seems to be all I can put on paper. I cannot wait to share the amazing ways the Lord uses us in Croatia and all the new friends and yummy foods we get to try. I cannot wait for that article to be published—the one detailing the miracles God did with our small group. But I cannot write about something that I am not currently experiencing.

Today I struggled with not crying when my daughter had yet another overwhelming day and said, “Mommy, I think I just need to cry.” With tears in her eyes, she shared about how this will be the last New Year with our friends and family. With tears in her eyes, she struggled with the same emotions we struggle with as adults. She said, “I know God is calling me to a missionary, but I really don’t want to leave my family.”

So again, you are here reading another article about our tears and our gatherings that always seem to begin and end with tears. The bottle God is storing our tears in must be overflowing (Psalm 56:8), but I take heart because joy comes in the morning. That morning has yet to arrive for our little tribe, but our faith trusts that if the heartache is this deep, the reward is something only heaven can offer. With prayer, the next article we write will be from Croatia, and as I mentioned, we cannot wait to share about all the amazing people God will place in our path. Until then, we thank you for your love and support as you endure these months full of tears and sadness with us.

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