“I have a friend who really wants to meet you,” Arben said to Sean. The man desperately wanted to get a visa to visit his son who immigrated to the States several years ago. He hoped that Sean, as an American, could help him.

Many Albanians assume that having the right connections is the only way to get what you want. That’s usually how it works here. If the “connection” is reluctant, you simply pay him enough money, and he will help you. Arben’s friend had first tried to visit the States years ago when his first grandson was born, but he was unable to get a visa. He had been back to the embassy several times since then, but each time he had been disappointed. Now that his second grandchild was born, he was once again joining the thousands of other Albanians vying to be one of the few to receive a visa.

Knowing the Albanian way of thinking fairly well, Sean gave the man some advice. “Make sure all the forms are complete and make sure you have all the necessary documents. Then, when you go the embassy, don’t be aggressive. Just smile. Don’t try to pay anybody off and don’t get angry if they ask for another document. Just be polite and say, ‘Oh, I’m sorry. I will get the document and come back.’”
The man’s eyes widened. “No, I can’t do that! If they send me away, I will be very angry!”

“If you want my advice,” Sean replied, “I think it would be a mistake to do that. It would only hurt your chances.”

“Okay, I’ll try it your way,” the man said as he shook Sean’s hand.
About a week later, Arben told Sean what the man had said to him after talking with Sean. “I don’t think it will work. I’ll just pay Sean some money, and he will take care of it.”

“No,” Arben countered. “He won’t take it. He is an honest man. Just do what he says.” “Everyone has a price,” the man argued. “I will give him thousands of dollars, and he will help me. I must see my grandchildren.”

Arben was silent for a moment. Then he spoke quietly. “I know Sean. I trust him. He can only advise you—he cannot get you a visa. Even if he could, he would not take a bribe. It doesn’t matter how much you offer him. He will not accept it. But he will pray for you.”
Seeing the seriousness in Arben’s eyes, the man relented. “Okay. I will try to do everything Sean has said. Even though it takes more than $40 of fuel to get to the capital. Even though I will stand in line for hours and might not even be seen. Even though I can’t understand how this could work. If you believe in the American’s advice so strongly, I will try it.”

I am happy to report that the man got his visa and was able to meet his grandchildren.

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