Many thoughts race through my mind as I scan the classroom. I just gave my class a simple five-question quiz with extra credit points to bring the school week to a close. What I see now arouses a dilemma in my mind: Lord, what should I do? I have to do something.
The students were blatantly cheating right in front of me. Many were lifting their notebooks to see the paper with correct answers underneath. Some were even sharing answers out loud. Why would they do this? I have been praying for them all year and seeking to gain their trust, admiration and respect.
This rowdy class of 14 has been the most troublesome for me. I struggle many times with knowing how to manage them. As I speak with God and seek wisdom from Him, I think about all the things my teachers would have done. Some stood behind you, their presence assuring you that they knew what you had done. Other teachers took the quiz from you without saying a word. Others called individuals out by name. None of these methods seem right to me. “Lord, what would You do?” I pray.
When I was younger, I thought I would have an apathetic approach to discipline if I were ever to be a teacher. I used to think that if the students don’t want to put in the effort and want to cheat: Just let them. After all, it’s their education. The ones who care about their education will put in the effort.
However, now that I have gained experience as a teacher, my thinking has changed. If I just come to class, teach the lesson and leave without disciplining them, it will show that I don’t care about their education. It will not be fair to them, and they will not feel loved. I can’t be apathetic; I love these children. I want to see them succeed. I can’t be apathetic because it’s not fair to them. I can’t be apathetic because Jesus rules in my heart.
I begin thinking about Dyitni, a very special boy in my class: quiet, attentive, respectful, studious and kind. How will it be fair to him if I don’t quiet the rowdy class as he tries to listen? How will it be fair to him if there is no justice in response to the cheating? How will Dyitni think of Jesus if I don’t enforce discipline in this class?
And what will the class think? On the one hand, an approach of apathy could tarnish their understanding of God’s justice. On the other hand, a wrong approach to discipline could tarnish their understanding of redemption. I need the perfect balance of justice and mercy. Because I love these children, I have to do something. Because I love these children, I must discipline them.
Silently, I wait for the quiz to finish. I collect them in a stack and make my way to the front of the room. I stand before the class, holding the stack of quizzes and not knowing what to say (and certainly not how to say it in Palawano). I look at them, knowing that most of them had cheated but also knowing that some tried their very best. One thing I know above all else is that all are deserving of mercy and redemption. I send up one last prayer for wisdom and then speak to my class. I simply and appropriately express to them what is on my heart. I see in their faces that they hear me and take the things I share to heart. I can tell the students are remorseful. We pray and close the class on a good note.
What if Jesus was apathetic? What if He thought like I used to think: “If they want to sin, I will just let them; after all, it’s their salvation.” Because God is just, and above all, because God is love, He disciplines His children.
Proverbs 3:11 (KJV): “My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of His correction: For whom the Lord loveth He correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.”
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