What if the first step toward healing is simply learning how to develop a kind heart?
After many years living and working in Thailand, we have come to appreciate how people value harmony in relationships. From a young age, children are taught to be nice. They are encouraged to smile, be polite and avoid conflict whenever possible. And we can appreciate how communities here genuinely care about maintaining peace and respect for one another. But over time, we have begun to notice another side to this.
When children grow up feeling they must always appear pleasant and agreeable, they often learn to hide difficult emotions. Frustration, sadness, fear or anger is pushed down to keep the peace. And when those feelings go unspoken for years, they do not simply disappear. They often become a quiet woundedness that people carry into adulthood.
In many cases, we have found that trying to be nice to avoid conflict can actually rob people of the opportunity to practice real kindness. When the goal is only to maintain a surface harmony, problems stay buried rather than being healed. People remain polite on the outside but disconnected on the inside.
This insight has shaped the way we approach trauma-informed church planting and discipleship here in northeast Thailand. Over time, we have realized that many people are carrying wounds they have never had the opportunity or the safety to process.
At the same time, conversations about trauma or emotional struggles can feel uncomfortable or unsafe in many communities here. So, we began asking a different question.
We recently began piloting a new program called the Jai Dee Initiative. In Thai, jai dee means “kind heart,” a value people here already deeply respect.
Instead of beginning with painful stories, we invite children and adults to participate in simple activities that help them practice kindness toward themselves and others. Together, we explore skills such as recognizing emotions, expressing needs honestly, listening with empathy and resolving conflict in healthier ways.
One place where we have been piloting these activities is at a local government school where we have developed a trusting relationship with the teachers.
We recently observed something encouraging in one of the preschool classes. Two children began arguing, and the disagreement quickly turned into hurtful words and some pushing.
Before a teacher could step in, a five-year-old girl approached them. She told them that the way they were speaking to and pushing each other was hurtful and unkind. She then encouraged them to say what they were upset about rather than fight. With a little guidance from their friend, the two children explained what had upset them and apologized to each other. And the conflict ended peacefully.
We are beginning to notice moments like this more often. When children are given simple language and practical tools for expressing their feelings, they begin using those skills with one another.
We have also seen these conversations open doors with adults.
One mother we have been spending time with is raising three young children while her husband serves in the military. She is working to support the family while also carrying the daily worry that her husband will not return safely.
During a recent Bible study, we discussed the parable of the Good Samaritan and the tensions among the different groups in that story. That led to a conversation about what it means to practice kindness, even toward people we may see as enemies. It was not an easy conversation, but it created space for her to begin sharing some of the fears and pressures she has been carrying.
Experiences like this are helping us see how practicing kindness can create safer conversations. When people begin learning to express themselves honestly and respectfully, discussions that once felt too uncomfortable or frightening can slowly become possible.
In this way, the Jai Dee Initiative is becoming more than simply a program about kindness. It helps create a gentle bridge toward deeper healing. As children and adults learn to practice kindness with honesty, courage and respect, we hope it will open the door for many to begin talking about deeper struggles and unresolved pain that may have felt too difficult to face before.
Please pray for the people we serve here that they will continue to find the courage to practice kindness toward themselves and others. Pray that through safe and caring communities, many will experience healing and discover a deeper connection with one another and with God.
