When Daniel and Mariam decided to make their engagement official, they began to plan for their wedding.
After Sabbath services, most of the member stay at the church for more activities. Sometimes we organize ourselves to go out into the community or have Bible studies. We also set aside time to discuss important matters pertaining to the spiritual growth of the church. This is an opportunity for church members to share their burdens and ask for prayer.
This particular Sabbath, Daniel announced to the church elders that he wanted to have Mariam become his wife.
“Why do you want to marry her?” One of the elders asked him.
“I am in love,” he replied, “and I believe it is God’s plan.”
Because of Daniel’s history of fighting with Mariam, we told him to take two weeks to think and pray about it. During those two weeks, they broke up three times. By the end of the third week, they were back together.
Again Daniel told the elders of his intentions, more determined than ever. Most of the elders did not take him seriously yet, but we listened to what he had to say. Then Uncle George suggested that we call Mariam and ask her opinion. When she arrived, he asked her, “Mariam, are you aware of Daniel’s intention to take your hand in marriage?”
“Yes, we talked about it,” she replied shyly, eyes on the ground.
“What do you think about it?” I asked.
“I believe it is God’s will, because each time we have a misunderstanding and break up, after a day or two we get back together again as if nothing happened.”
The other elders were not convinced, but Uncle George and I were confident that they would make a good couple. Right there, Uncle George promised to help with their wedding.
We advised Daniel to go and inform his parents about his plans. Daniel’s mother applauded him for his initiative. The next day Daniel, his mother and a delegation from the church went to see Mariam’s parents. Daniel presented them with 10 cola nuts.
In traditional Susu culture, when a young man wants to marry, there is a very specific formula to follow. He and a family member, usually an uncle, will pay a visit to the family of the young lady. The uncle’s role is to tell her parents that the young man wants to have a relationship with their daughter, and to ask whether she is unattached. This intention is formalized by presenting a token gift of 10 cola nuts or the equivalent in money. The parents of the girl will then ask for time, usually two weeks, so they can talk with their daughter. During this time they will ask their daughter and their friends everything they want to know about the young man. After gathering enough information, they then call the family to give their response. If it is favorable, dating will start. If not, they will return the cola nuts to the uncle.
When Mariam’s parents accepted the cola nuts, our church began to plan for the wedding. However, a month later, Daniel and Mariam had another misunderstanding and called off the engagement. Their family members intervened, but to no avail.
From the very beginning, I knew the evil one did not want these two to get married. The devil knows the blessing God has placed on marriage. He wanted to regain some control over Mariam. Only persistent prayers can give us victory over him. So my wife and I began fasting and praying for Daniel and Mariam. We fasted and prayed for three days. On the third day we invited them to join us in the exercise, which they gladly did. We prayed with them and asked for God’s will to be done in their relationship. After the prayer session, we invited them to talk. We encouraged them to read The Adventist Home. Then my wife and I started taking turns visiting them and reading it together.
Things begin to change, and Daniel and Mariam reconciled. Again they began to plan for their wedding. Daniel took an advance on his salary and gave it to Mariam so she could start a small trading business and use the profits to buy things she would need in the house when they got married. We continue to read and pray with them, and things began to go in the right direction. Mariam put all of her energy into buying things for their new home. Daniel deprived himself of many things and did lots of odd jobs to get money for the next phase of paying Mariam’s bride price. As the church guard, he opened an account with me. I was keeping his salary. It went up to 2 million Guinean Francs ($300 USD). Every three weeks we met for counseling and prayers. Everyone was happy with these developments. But as we began the second phase of Susu marriage preparation, the devil was readying another attack on Daniel and Mariam.
To be continued.
