“My whole life is defined by this huge and unanswerable WHY?” Leftheris said with chagrin.
After a short pause, he continued agitatedly, “I keep on asking myself, why did my mother abandon me, why did my father use me for his gain, why did so many people in my life use my kindness to benefit themselves and then backstab me? Why is it that my kindness is perceived as stupidity and as permission to use me? I don’t have answers to these questions. I fail to understand why.”
“The lives of all great people, people who have status and are admired by others, seem to me like a collection of instances where they used others to further their agenda and improve their life. They built their greatness by using those considered weak, those who have no protection, those who cannot stand against them, those who are kind and pure in heart . . .”
The three of us, Leftheris, Yannis, and I sat in our living room, each lost in our thoughts. Lefteris fidgeted with his cup of tea and biscuit. After a couple of deep breaths to calm down his surging emotions, he continued.
“Life is tough. Sometimes too hard to live. God did not create us to have to cope with pain and rejection. He did not create us for this harsh life of pain because God, who is love, would never do that.
“Pain is something we brought into this life, and to somehow make life bearable, we fill it with distractions that bring even more pain. Making ourselves feel better at the expense of others may give some meaning to our lives, but it also brings more chaos, more pain; it takes us even further away from God.”
Leftheris paused for another thoughtful moment. “I suppose this is where the power of evil lies — in making us suffer and unable to see God’s love in our lives. This feeling of being abandoned chains us to our pain and makes us unable to see anything beyond ourselves.”
“But I have experienced something amazing,” he continued with shining eyes. “I have realized that God’s love can free us from those chains. Ever since I have felt His overwhelming love, I have realized that life has meaning. It is to live in the love of God. Maybe nothing in this world is like what God intended it to be, but His love remains the foundation of true logic, the foundation of right and wrong and the foundation of truth.
“As I sit and wonder how I should go on with my life when it feels like living hell, I see that I have only one option — go to God. In His presence, I feel loved, valued and respected. Only in His presence is life beautiful.
“The honor and glory and power belong to Him. He never takes those by using others. We give Him the place of honor, glory and power in response to His love; we give it because we are free, accepted and loved. I want to give this place to God in my life every single day!”
I agree wholeheartedly with Leftheris.
