“Will you come to my wedding?” our friend Doeglah asked. “It will be in two weeks. I want your whole family to be there, and I would like you to bring my grandparents and carry gifts. Can you come?” he pressed. We agreed to go to his wedding, though we were apprehensive. You see, we understand rudimentary language, but we don’t yet know a lot of spiritual vocabulary, so we don’t know what parts of a Buddhist wedding have deep spiritual significance and what parts might be simple preference. With everyone knowing we are Christians, we didn’t want to inadvertently misrepresent Christ. We had also driven by many a Buddhist wedding here in Cambodia and knew how loud they could be in the evening. On more than one occasion while driving by a wedding, we had been amazed that people could subject their eardrums to such a stunning decibel level and still maintain their hearing. However, our presence at his wedding seemed to be of great importance to Doeglah, and we felt it was a good opportunity to deepen our connection with him.
Our impression of the importance of this occasion became even clearer when Doeglah visited us twice later that week to confirm that we would come. He wanted to be sure we understood and knew when to come. We assured him that we would be there, and we followed him back to his house so he would know that we knew where to come to pick up his grandparents.
When the morning of the wedding arrived, we prayed before leaving, asking God for wisdom to honor Him. After our arrival at the wedding, we were seated at a table and began to watch what was going on. The groom was walking around in his first wedding outfit of the day (they typically change clothes at least three times). He was quietly getting people ready for the procession. Soon his brother came to us and told us we were to come over and join the procession. As we joined the others, we were given fruits and vegetables to carry on silver and gold platters. As we were walking down the street behind him, making our way to the bride’s house, we couldn’t help but think about the story of the bridal procession in the Bible. When we got there, we gave these gifts to the bride’s family. We had thought Doeglah had wanted us to bring gifts to the wedding in our truck, now we realized that he had intended for us to be part of his wedding from the beginning, so now people would be watching us even more closely!
The bride and groom watched as their parents exchanged wedding vows. Then the wedding party disappeared into the house. Soon food was served, and Doeglah appeared in normal clothes to visit with us. We also found out that he wanted us to stay after supper until five p.m. so we could take the grandparents home. While this would make for a long day for our youngest children, we were thankful that we would be able to leave before the loud evening music took over.
After we ate our rice and vegetables, we visited with several people while waiting to see what was next. Soon the bride and groom moved into the house, and we were summoned. Doeglah wanted us to take pictures. We walked in the front door and sat down on one of several colorful floor mats provided for guest seating. The bride and groom knelt together with their hands resting on two golden pillows. A pig’s head, complete with a knife sticking up from its forehead, stared lifelessly up at the Buddhist shrine, which was set up along the back wall of the room. To the side was a monk who was chanting and leading out in the ceremonies. It was interesting to watch the bride and groom as they went through several rituals of walking ceremoniously around the room, bowing repeatedly toward the monk and the shrine, and repeating words to the monk.
Finally they moved to the other side facing the door. Again they knelt beside each other with their hands together on a pillow. Couples began to bring them money and kneel beside them and sprinkle them with water. We guessed this was the appropriate time to give gifts to the bride and groom. Also, it looked like the sprinkling was some kind of blessing for them. We felt impressed to do something different when we took our gift to them. So when we went up, Adam knelt by the groom and asked if he would mind if we prayed for them. Doeglah seemed pleased and said that would be fine. So instead of sprinkling them with what we guessed to be “holy” water, we were able to ask the God who instituted marriage to bless their marriage. Later, we found out that the sprinkling is something that is not done at Christian weddings.
We are thankful for God’s leading in our work here. So many times, we have sensed His blessing in spite of our ignorance. He is working, and we are thankful that He is allowing us to participate, giving us cultural wisdom to know when to say “I do,” and when to say “I don’t.”

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